Saturday, March 25, 2017

"Hey! We're going to have a baby!"

We're very excited to announce that another little one is joining the Meier family!

We shared with a few family members the week we found out, to ask for prayers as we began another pregnancy. After our 8 week visit we told the rest of the family and a few friends. And here we are in the middle of week 12, ready to share with the rest of the world. I asked Seth what I should say to announce that our baby is coming and he said "Hey! We're going to have a baby!" He's pretty excited about this kiddo joining our family.

Obviously we're a bit anxious and praying a lot. After losing Isaac and talking with other moms who have miscarried we've discovered, in a very personal way, how fragile life truly is. I know the feeling of mixed emotions that come with our announcement. The pain that pierces the heart, excited for my friend who is pregnant, but the sorrow of coming to the end of a pregnancy only with empty arms. I will always miss Isaac in our lives but I am so happy for the blessing God has given us.


Sunday, July 31, 2016

Our Miracle



Every one of my babies has been a miracle. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (POS) which means many things about my health are unpredictable. My menstrual cycle is never on time, I have trouble losing weight, and being able to “plan” a pregnancy is impossible; among other things. It took two years to finally become pregnant with my first born and about a year for our second born. Both times we were starting to see the doctor to find out if there was a problem when, within a month, God granted our request for a child. Our third baby was a complete miracle.

July 8, 2016 - Today was the day! We get to see our new baby for the first time. We were so excited, had everything planned out for announcing to the family that Baby Meier was on its way. But as I lay there looking at the ultrasound I instantly knew something was wrong. Baby wasn’t moving, I kept trying to convince myself that everything was OK, then at the same time repeating over and over in my head, “I need to see you move Baby, come on, move!” At the beginning of the ultrasound the technician was talking, showing us the measurements, then things got quiet. The only sounds were the beeps and clicks of the machine. For half a second she clicked on the monitor for the heartbeat. Again, silence. I tried not to panic. Glancing over at Luke, I realize he doesn’t know what I’m thinking. A few minutes later we are asked to sit in the waiting room. The doctor would see us soon.

Early June I was getting ready for my morning run when I realized I was a few days late, which is not uncommon, but I grabbed a pregnancy test anyway, and waited the few minutes required for the test to complete. And there in big bold letters was the word “Pregnant.” I laughed. So thrilled to have baby #3 on the way! I told Luke and we were able to have a few minutes together processing what this meant.

The next few weeks we began to prepare for our 3rd child. Already in the process of looking for a car we ended up narrowing our search to mini-vans, found one, and purchased what seemed to be the right one for us. I also bought a maternity top at a garage sale since most of my maternity clothes are geared toward summer babies, I knew I needed something for this pregnancy; our baby was due in February after all. I began shopping for a Moses basket, searching for clever ways to announce our baby’s arrival, and purchased a baby carrier my sister was getting rid of. We didn’t need much, but planning for our baby gave us so much to look forward to.

That Friday morning, as we waited to see the doctor, I told Luke my fear. I said something to the effect of ‘I’m trying not to freak out, but I think something is wrong. It was too quiet, they didn’t give us the ultrasound pictures, and I didn’t see or hear the heartbeat.’ I distracted myself, for what seemed like an eternity, with a game on my phone. We were called back to see the doctor and she asked how I was doing, I mentioned something about morning sickness and not feeling well the day before. Then she said the words I was hoping she wouldn’t say, “I’m sorry, but we couldn’t find a heartbeat.” I responded with “That’s what I figured.” I don’t remember everything that was said after that, just options about where to proceed from here, Luke crying, and that feeling when everything crashes and collapses around you and there is nothing you can do to hold it together. I don’t think I’ve had a day since where I haven’t cried or had every emotion want to explode out of me at the same time.

A week after our first ultrasound, my doctor offered to give us a second ultrasound to help give us some sense of closure. While there we were able to get a few photos of our little one, not that I’ll ever be able to forget our little bundle snuggled inside me, completely at peace.

It was a few torturous weeks waiting for my body to recognize that my baby is gone; not just waiting for the miscarriage, but putting the things away that once gave us excitement as we looked forward to holding our child. The first thing that tore me up was throwing away the positive pregnancy test. It was the one thing I had that showed there was life at one point. Next, the minivan that we had purchased ended up having some major issues, so it’s sitting in our parking space waiting to be sold. I packed away the baby carrier and our announcements. And it took over two weeks to finally get enough emotional energy to take down the maternity shirt that had been hanging in our laundry room. With each item I felt like I was erasing this baby from my life and I wanted to scream, to cry, and then I would just sit feeling empty and tired. I had to put some of my grieving on hold because of my other two children. They have been more precious to me than ever.

July 25th, 2016 our baby is born.

My heart aches as I write those words. I so wish I could hold him close, to comfort him and tell him “It’s OK baby, Mama’s here.” To some this is just the loss of a pregnancy, but to me it is so much more. I lost my miracle. I won’t be able to celebrate his first breath, feel his warm skin on mine moments after he arrived, there won’t be birthdays, giggles, or snuggles. He’s gone.

The day of his birth, the day I miscarried, was possibly the most traumatic day of my life. I started cramping the night before, but the bleeding started in the afternoon. I called my mom to help me take care of the kids for the day; I knew I wouldn’t be able to care for them as things progressed. Luke was in Salem at a job site, otherwise I would have called him home too. Once the bleeding started, I didn’t realize how bad it was until about 5 o’clock. Luke had only been home a few minutes and my mom had left. I remember telling Luke I didn’t feel well, a bit light headed, but thought I might feel better after a trip to the bathroom. After cleaning up, I stepped into the hall and things took a turn for the worse. I called Luke, sat down on the floor, and shortly after Luke put his arms around me, I passed out.

I woke up with puke all over me. We called the doctor, called my parents to come back to watch the kids, and were sitting in the emergency room less than an hour later. I was able to walk to the ER, made it through check-in, and one last trip to the bathroom, but after that I was a mess. We sat in the ER for about an hour, during that time I passed out countless times, threw up whatever was left in my system, and bled through my clothes. Through it all Luke held me. I vaguely remember someone coming over with a warm blanket and those blue hospital barf bags, and finally being wheeled back to the room I’d be staying for the next few hours.

Once in the room I, thankfully, stopped fainting, however, I still continued to bleed. I was given an I.V., a gown, and several blankets. After seeing a doctor and a having a small procedure, we were taken to see an ultrasound technician. I think that moment was the worst for me. I couldn’t stop crying. I knew there would be no image of my baby on that screen.

Not long after the ultrasound another doctor, an OB/GYN, came and spoke with us. She told us that if I didn’t go into surgery for a D&C I would continue to bleed. My body was trying to get rid of what tissue was left, but it was stuck, and without the procedure there was possibility of serious harm. It was about 11:30pm and I was exhausted. We agreed it was the right decision and I was prepped for surgery.

They continually asked my name, birth date, and what procedure I was going in for, with each question I felt myself get quieter and more choked up, I didn’t want to say goodbye. Waves of fear came, I wondered if I would ever see my husband or children again. Then, there was calm. I knew God was with me, that people were praying for me, and I fell asleep.

I woke up an hour later, the anesthesia was wearing off and I chatted with the nurses until I was taken from the recovery room to my hospital room for the night. It was now my birthday, July 26th, and I felt better, no more uncontrolled bleeding, but still very weak. It’s a strange experience having to ask a nurse to help you to the bathroom. We were discharged close to 11am and since then I’ve been pretty much on bed rest. Saturday was the first day I ventured outside, we drove to the farmer’s market, Luke and the kids walked through the market, I stayed in the car.

I’m gaining more strength, able to eat more, and have not needed as much help to get from the bedroom to the bathroom or living room. Physically I’m improving, however, my heart aches and I randomly start crying at the littlest things. My Facebook page exploded with new baby photos, gender reveals, and pregnancy announcements, this past week, and while I rejoice with my friends, I struggle against bitterness and anger that my child was taken too soon. I have purposed not to ask ‘why?’ I don’t think that’s a fair question, I don’t think there’s an answer that would comfort me. I lean into Jesus and ask for Him to carry me through, even on my most angry and hurtful days there is a peace that I cannot explain.

So, here we are, there’s not much more to say, except to announce the name of our child. We didn’t know the baby’s gender, but we chose a name that seemed to fit perfectly.

Isaac Milo Meier

Isaac means laughter. There was such joy with the positive pregnancy test, I laughed; that’s why we chose Isaac for his first name.
Milo means peaceful. We chose this name because of the image Luke and I both have of him snuggled sweetly in my womb.

We will never forget you Isaac Milo Meier. I love you baby. - Mama

Friday, April 24, 2015

L & R MeierWorks

A couple years ago I was trying to come up with inexpensive gifts for both Luke's and my family. This is a difficult task as we have a huge family and I like to give gifts that are both useful and fun. I prefer not to give edible treats for birthdays and Christmas, I try to save those for Mother's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc. So, I decided to start searching Pinterest.

After posting about a hundred things on a hidden board, it was decided. We were going to make lawn dice for our parents and other homemade gifts for the siblings (more on this later). We'd never heard of lawn dice before, but thought they could be fun. We purchased a 4x4 board from the hardware store, cut and sanded it down into 15 dice, then wood-burned the dots. Both sets of parents received 5 lawn dice, as well as a mesh laundry bag to hold the dice and Yahtzee score cards. (http://www.eecis.udel.edu/~davis/yahtzee.pdf)

We had such fun working on this project together and since making them, had considered making more and improving on the final product.

This idea simmered for nearly two years.


I mentioned that we had decided to make homemade Christmas gifts for siblings. At that time we only had two siblings with children so I decided to make activity books for them and the kids. Again, Pinterest was my main source for ideas which I compiled into a book of over 52 crafts and activities that would be good for kids ages 2-10. Included with the homemade books were a few materials that I thought wouldn't be readily on-hand for the activities - craft sticks, masking tape, Velcro, etc. My sister-in-law loved it and lovingly called it: "Mom's Sanity Keeper - Some Parts Included" this planted the idea of selling them at Christmas bazaars the following year or maybe even open an Etsy shop.


As I don't know what the copyright issues would be to sell these books and knew I would have to replace nearly all the pictures. I decided this wasn't a product I could really spend the time on with an active toddler and baby on the way. (It still may make it's way to our site, but at the current time it's on hold.)

 A few months ago we were brainstorming ways to make a little extra money because Luke's job at Starbucks wasn't keeping up with our growing family and income needs. We had been searching for a new job for about three years and it seemed we weren't going to be able to make a job change soon. So, we started to seriously talk about opening a shop on Etsy. I had some ideas of what I might want to sell on the site; however, I felt a bit intimidated and not a hundred percent convinced my items would be of interest to anyone.

We landed on wood dice for a few reasons: Luke got a new job working for a small construction company and was able to re-purpose some of the materials leftover from job sites, It's a project we enjoy doing together, and Luke has experience woodworking.



Luke was able to put together a few prototypes to show friends and family, after positive feedback we decided to take the plunge and open our store: L & R MeierWorks (lrmeierworks.etsy.com) on April 9th. To date we have over 400 views, 11 favorites, and 4 online orders. Not bad for only being up and running for 2 weeks.
It is wonderful to see how God is providing through this. Right now we're just covering our costs for tools and materials, but nearly daily we're receiving encouragement to keep going. And we potentially have a small game store that may either display, purchase a set, or become a seller. Not sure if that will materialize, but it was fun to have them excited about our product.

Praise the Lord for how He provides!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Home-made Taquitos




I've made these several times before and they probably aren't the most authentic taquitos, but I sure enjoy them. They are also great for road trips and little kid fingers which is a plus.






Cooking time: 15 minutes/batch
Yield: 40 taquitos

Ingredients:
  • 2 large Chicken Breasts
  • 1 Packet Taco Seasoning (or a couple tablespoons of homemade taco seasoning, listed below)
  • 20 Corn-flour Tortillas
  • 3 Cups grated Cheese (I usually use Cheddar, but this time I added some Monterey Jack cause I had it on hand and needed to use it up)
  • Cooking spray
Instructions:
  • Place the chicken and a cup of water in a slow cooker, set on High for 4 hours.
  • Once chicken is cooked through, shred using forks and add taco seasoning. Stir and let sit for a few minutes.

  • Cut corn-flour tortillas in half. Warm briefly on a skillet, they are easier to roll when warm.

  • Scoop a small amount of chicken on the cut edge of the tortilla and sprinkle a little cheese over the top. Roll tightly from cut edge. Place on cookie sheet sprayed with cooking spray.

  • Once you have about a dozen on the cookie sheet spray the tops with a coat of cooking spray, then place in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Using tongs, flip taquitos over and bake for another 5 minutes. Remove from cookie sheet and serve.

  •  The extra taquitos, once cooled, can be placed in a Ziploc bag and frozen for future quick meals.
Taco Seasoning: (combine all spices)

  • 2 parts Chili Powder
  • 2 parts Cumin
  • 1 part Paprika
  • 1 part Cayenne Pepper
  • 1 part Oregano
  • 1 part Onion Powder
  • 1 part Garlic Powder
  • 1 part Salt
  • 1/2 part Black Pepper
  • 1 part Corn Starch

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

For this child, we prayed...again!

We are so excited to announce that we are expecting our second child!

We had our first appointment today and it is all becoming real this little one is on its way. Discovering today that we were not at 10-12 weeks like we thought, but nearly 14 weeks! 13 weeks 5 days to be exact. Our little one will make his/her appearance around July 16th. I don't think Luke or I have stopped smiling since seeing the ultrasound of Little Meier this morning and hearing the nice, strong heartbeat.

We made our announcement to our families the week of Christmas and my sister was able to catch the Johanesen Family reaction on camera. I'll, hopefully, be able to post that soon. But in the meantime I'll explain how we told everyone:

We brought in an extra gift for Seth to open at the family Christmas party. We let him open the gift as if nothing unusual was happening, just a "secret Santa" sort of gift. Inside the bag was a nice little t-shirt that says "Big Brother," I held up the t-shirt on Seth and said, "Show everyone what it says, buddy." Great reactions from everyone and we're so thrilled to be adding this little one to our family.


Saturday, April 26, 2014

Wedding Season

We're beginning to receive "Save the Date" postcards and wedding invitations in the mail, and recently someone said, "In every wedding, something will go wrong." My cousin, who will be getting married next year, then asked, "So, what went wrong at your wedding?" Here are a few things that happened with mine:

1. Luke's tux was too small
2. My maid-of-honor got food poisoning the night before the wedding
3. Our pastor had kidney stones and we weren't sure who was going to be officiating the wedding (He did end up officiating, but was still in a lot of pain)
4. My maid-of-honor's dress didn't arrive until just before we started taking pictures, about 4 hours before the wedding ceremony.
5. The week of our wedding our friend who was making our cake said she couldn't make it anymore. We did some negotiating and were able to get it taken care of, but instead of getting our cake and 300 mini cupcakes, we got our cake and 300 regular cupcakes...SO MUCH leftover cake!
6. I forgot to get straps/sleeves made for my wedding dress (It was originally a strapless dress, I just wanted a little extra embellishment)
7. Our photographer didn't get some of the pictures I thought we'd get.

All in all though, we had a WONDERFUL wedding. So many friends and family showed up to support us, and really, at the end of the day, the important thing to remember is that you're getting married to your best friend. You're about to start your life together and the wedding is just the starting point. It doesn't have to be perfect. Some of the details don't matter.

So, to those of you about to get married and are stressing about how many guests you have coming or that small decorative item that you "need" to have, but just can't seem to find, think about the days, weeks, months, and years after the wedding. You have so much to look forward to! Don't get so caught up in the details that you forget who you're getting married to and why.




Friday, April 25, 2014

It's OK to be Ordinary

Lately, I've been learning to be content with being "unseen."

When I married Luke, he was the Director of Student Ministries at our church. Everyone knew Luke, so everyone knew me. Before meeting Luke, I was a track coach, a swim coach and teacher,  and a LOT of people knew me. It was a bit awkward for me because I am the middle child from a large family and was not really used to being noticed, but at the same time, I didn't mind so much.

Then, as the years passed and jobs/life changed, I have become "invisible" again. I am not a youth pastor's wife, I am not a coach, I'm not the "big name on campus" so to speak. I'm barely even recognized as Luke's wife,  Seth's Mom, or even Autumn's Sister. I'm simply a, *shudder* Homemaker or Stay-at-home-mom as some people call it. I don't think I ever thought I'd be "just" a wife and mom. I thought I might have some ministry or impact on lives outside my little bubble, but that's just not the case right now.

I wasn't meaning to go on a rant about how life isn't what I expected it to be, but rather, I want to share about the peace and hope that I am finding in this time in my life.

I've been reading through a book "Anonymous: Jesus' hidden years...and yours" by Alicia Britt Chole. It's about the unseen portions of your life that no one gushes over or applauds. It's the everyday, hum-drum, boring stages of life that we often see as useless and wish we could skip through for the more exciting stages. But I'm learning that those so called "useless" days, weeks, months, and years are actually where we develop our foundation and strength. I'm only a third of the way through the book, but so far it's hit quite a few points that are close to home, especially for a mom of a young child.

I don't know if it's just our culture, but it appears that everyone is striving to be famous.  Not just popular in their school, but to become the next YouTube sensation that will be known world wide. However, how many people will know the Rebecca Black song "Friday" in ten years, most people have already forgotten the three year old song and groan at the remembrance of that terrible auto-tune monstrosity.


You don't have to be popular or famous, because the most important person already knows your name, He sees your everyday life. It's OK to be ordinary, this does not mean lazy or unambitious, but it's OK to have times in your life where you're "invisible."