For this child, we prayed...again!

We are so excited to announce that we are expecting our second child!

We had our first appointment today and it is all becoming real this little one is on its way. Discovering today that we were not at 10-12 weeks like we thought, but nearly 14 weeks! 13 weeks 5 days to be exact. Our little one will make his/her appearance around July 16th. I don't think Luke or I have stopped smiling since seeing the ultrasound of Little Meier this morning and hearing the nice, strong heartbeat.

We made our announcement to our families the week of Christmas and my sister was able to catch the Johanesen Family reaction on camera. I'll, hopefully, be able to post that soon. But in the meantime I'll explain how we told everyone:

We brought in an extra gift for Seth to open at the family Christmas party. We let him open the gift as if nothing unusual was happening, just a "secret Santa" sort of gift. Inside the bag was a nice little t-shirt that says "Big Brother," I held up the t-shirt on Seth and said, "Show everyone what it says, buddy." Great reactions from everyone and we're so thrilled to be adding this little one to our family.

Wedding Season

We're beginning to receive "Save the Date" postcards and wedding invitations in the mail, and recently someone said, "In every wedding, something will go wrong." My cousin, who will be getting married next year, then asked, "So, what went wrong at your wedding?" Here are a few things that happened with mine:

1. Luke's tux was too small
2. My maid-of-honor got food poisoning the night before the wedding
3. Our pastor had kidney stones and we weren't sure who was going to be officiating the wedding (He did end up officiating, but was still in a lot of pain)
4. My maid-of-honor's dress didn't arrive until just before we started taking pictures, about 4 hours before the wedding ceremony.
5. The week of our wedding our friend who was making our cake said she couldn't make it anymore. We did some negotiating and were able to get it taken care of, but instead of getting our cake and 300 mini cupcakes, we got our cake and 300 regular cupcakes...SO MUCH leftover cake!
6. I forgot to get straps/sleeves made for my wedding dress (It was originally a strapless dress, I just wanted a little extra embellishment)
7. Our photographer didn't get some of the pictures I thought we'd get.

All in all though, we had a WONDERFUL wedding. So many friends and family showed up to support us, and really, at the end of the day, the important thing to remember is that you're getting married to your best friend. You're about to start your life together and the wedding is just the starting point. It doesn't have to be perfect. Some of the details don't matter.

So, to those of you about to get married and are stressing about how many guests you have coming or that small decorative item that you "need" to have, but just can't seem to find, think about the days, weeks, months, and years after the wedding. You have so much to look forward to! Don't get so caught up in the details that you forget who you're getting married to and why.

It's OK to be Ordinary

Lately, I've been learning to be content with being "unseen."

When I married Luke, he was the Director of Student Ministries at our church. Everyone knew Luke, so everyone knew me. Before meeting Luke, I was a track coach, a swim coach and teacher,  and a LOT of people knew me. It was a bit awkward for me because I am the middle child from a large family and was not really used to being noticed, but at the same time, I didn't mind so much.

Then, as the years passed and jobs/life changed, I have become "invisible" again. I am not a youth pastor's wife, I am not a coach, I'm not the "big name on campus" so to speak. I'm barely even recognized as Luke's wife,  Seth's Mom, or even Autumn's Sister. I'm simply a, *shudder* Homemaker or Stay-at-home-mom as some people call it. I don't think I ever thought I'd be "just" a wife and mom. I thought I might have some ministry or impact on lives outside my little bubble, but that's just not the case right now.

I wasn't meaning to go on a rant about how life isn't what I expected it to be, but rather, I want to share about the peace and hope that I am finding in this time in my life.

I've been reading through a book "Anonymous: Jesus' hidden years...and yours" by Alicia Britt Chole. It's about the unseen portions of your life that no one gushes over or applauds. It's the everyday, hum-drum, boring stages of life that we often see as useless and wish we could skip through for the more exciting stages. But I'm learning that those so called "useless" days, weeks, months, and years are actually where we develop our foundation and strength. I'm only a third of the way through the book, but so far it's hit quite a few points that are close to home, especially for a mom of a young child.

I don't know if it's just our culture, but it appears that everyone is striving to be famous.  Not just popular in their school, but to become the next YouTube sensation that will be known world wide. However, how many people will know the Rebecca Black song "Friday" in ten years, most people have already forgotten the three year old song and groan at the remembrance of that terrible auto-tune monstrosity.


You don't have to be popular or famous, because the most important person already knows your name, He sees your everyday life. It's OK to be ordinary, this does not mean lazy or unambitious, but it's OK to have times in your life where you're "invisible."

A Simple Gift

I have this bulletin board hanging in our hallway that has piqued the interest of nearly every person that has come over. And since it was such fun to make I thought I'd share my (pinterest.com) idea.

Two months ago Luke and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and Luke's 30th birthday. Since I really wanted to focus on Luke's milestone birthday our anniversary kinda took a backseat. Except for one thing. I made a special gift to help us celebrate all year long.


I gathered 52 date night ideas, printed off blank gift certificates, and organized a date night once a week for the entire year. Thanks to some help from http://www.thedatingdivas.com/ and http://justsomethingimade.com/2010/12/last-minute-gift-coupons-free-printables/ It was a lot of fun finding dates that we could do on a budget.

The week of our Anniversary, I was so excited to give Luke this brightly colored stack of envelopes, each filled with a month's worth of date nights. I had initially planned to wait 'til after his birthday to give them to him, but I think I only made it to 8am, Monday morning, his birthday was Wednesday, our anniversary, Friday.  Still, Luke was thrilled with the idea, and eagerly opened the first envelope.

Now, there is one rule to the date night envelopes: We can only complete the dates nights up to the current month. Meaning, since it's March, we are able to pick and choose which dates we can do out of the January through March envelopes. But we can't take a date from August to do this month. So far we've completed 9 of the first 13 weeks. Not bad for it being the 12th week of the year.

By now I hope you're a little curious as to what exactly is in these envelopes. So, I've copied the list here for you! Feel free to steal the ideas, they're not completely original, but they're still fun for us.

January:

1 – Thrift store shop for a "new" game

2 – Double date to see The Hobbit

3 – Make doughnuts!

4 – Have a Chicago themed dinner

5 – Enjoy a homemade dessert by candle light (no computer, phone, or television!)

February:

6 – Start a project together

7 – Play a board game

8 – Buy a book and read it together

9 – “Spa” Date: Bubble bath, lotion, foot/back massage, and dessert

March:

10 – Play a video game together

11 – Go on a dress-up dinner date

12 – Movie marathon: LOTR, Pride & Prejudice, Bourne, Pirates, Ocean’s, Iron Man, X-Men, etc.

13 – Write a prayer list and pray together

April:

14 – Do a puzzle together

15 – Go out for coffee at a local coffee shop

16 – Rent a Redbox movie and grab some theater candy and a soda – Enjoy!

17 – Write a love note to each other. Exchange or read to each other.

18 – Bed & Breakfast – go for a one night hotel stay

May:

19 – Find a new kind of Root Beer you haven't tried before and make some floats

20 – Enjoy some late night nachos and conversation

21 – Buy a few flowers and putter in the garden together

22 – Go out for Chinese food

June:

23 – Pretend to be a tourist in your home town

24 – Flamingo a friend’s yard

25 – Go for a short hike up the Columbia River Gorge and kiss under a water fall

26 – Pack a picnic dinner and go to a nearby park, don’t forget lawn Yahtzee

July:

27 – Go to a local bakery, buy two cookies, and go for a walk along the Springwater Trail

28 – Go to a Drive-In movie

29 – Go to the Berry Festival

30 – Build a fort and enjoy a book together

31 – Go putt-putt golfing

August:

32 – Pick one thing to do from the “100 things to do list”

33 – Flicks on the Bricks night!

34 – Golf at McMenamins Edgefield

35 - Stargaze from the patio

September:

36 – Go to the Dollar Tree and "surprise" each other with a gift

37 – Pick a date from the last few months and have a do-over

38 – Pull out our wedding album and reminisce

39 – Light some candles, turn on some soft music, and dance together

October:

40 – Walk around downtown Gresham

41 – Double date to The Truffle Hunter

42 – Play a card game

43 – Begin brainstorming Christmas gifts

44 – Enjoy a hot cup of tea on the patio

November:

45 – Wendy's Frosty night!

46 – Head to Edgefield, try a new drink and share an appetizer

47 – Search ebay together showing toys and other items that were special in childhood

48 – Go to Portland's Saturday Market and get a Voodoo doughnut

December:

49 – Christmas shop for Seth

50 – Take a drive and look at Christmas lights

51 – Wander through the Troutdale antique stores

52 – Remember the dates we went on and share about our favorite moments

My next project is to update that bulletin board with some spray paint and maybe some fabric. :D

Potty Training

So, apparently I'm a glutton for punishment. Here I am attempting to train my 18 month old how to use the toilet.

We've been working at it for a while. A few months ago we started simply by sitting him on the potty, just so he would learn not to be scared of it. He would cry the first few times, I'd hug him and keep him there for no more than a few seconds. We then decided to move his diaper changing "station" to the bathroom so he'd start connecting diaper changes with going potty.

A little over a month ago we got a little toilet seat that sits on the toilet. We began to sit Seth on the toilet after nearly every diaper change. Occasionally he would actually "go" on the potty, usually with the help of the sound of running water (we'd turn on the faucet briefly).

Lately, we've been so encouraged with his progress. We're obviously going the slow route. He's not able to either take his pants/diaper off  or climb up on the toilet on his own. But recently  something's clicked for him. He will go poop in the toilet! We rarely have to change a poopy diaper anymore! We're still working on getting him to the bathroom when he has to go pee. He's gotten the idea that he needs to go use the toilet when his diaper is full, but not before... Even so, I am SO happy with his current progress.

Right now, I'm trying to figure out when we'll start using big boy underwear and  move away from diapers during the day. My thoughts right now are to wait until he can pull his pants off or communicate he needs to go potty...Or start using the underwear a couple hours in the afternoon to get him used to the feeling of underwear rather than diapers.

Yes, I am bragging a bit, but I'm not trying to say my way is the best way, I'm still learning how potty training a toddler is supposed to work. I also only have one child that I am taking care of and I can sit for 15+ minutes in the bathroom with Seth waiting for him to be done. Sometimes this means reading several books, blowing bubbles, and playing peek-a-boo to keep him sitting on the toilet, but it's what works for now.

I don't really want to resort to giving him treats for using the toilet, and so far just saying, "Yay, Seth!" when he goes, is working. But I'm sure there is going to be some point in this process that I'll be cleaning up the floor, for what seems the millionth time, and wondering if he'll ever be fully potty trained.

I'm also learning through this that diapers are really convenient. I don't have to worry when the last time he went was when we're out and about. But diapers are also really expensive, kind of a big reason I wanted to start potty training now. Also, Seth seemed to be ready and he's doing well with the process.

So, that's a little glimpse into what's happening here.

Thoughts on Marriage

Luke and I are fast approaching a milestone in our lives together. In about a month we will celebrate 5 years of married life together. With each year I can say I love him more than the last. I won't get all sappy and ooey-gooey, but I will say I am truly blessed to be married to Luke.

I thought I'd share some things that have been mulling over in my mind today. This morning I went to "Mom to Mom" which is a once-a-month program at our church that offers encouragement and teaching to moms. This month's topic was "Marriage" specifically how to communicate to your spouse. I didn't come away with much new information. But I was reminded of our first year of marriage and some things that we learned about ourselves.

Lessons I've learned:
1. Take a breath and try to explain, even if it's a jumbled mess at the beginning.
Let me elaborate. I didn't (and still don't, at times) communicate well what I'm feeling. There were occasions that I would get so upset that I'd pout in the bedroom or lock myself in the bathroom to have my pity party. The main problem with this is that it would leave Luke so confused and left in the dark about what was really wrong. I don't run away anymore and haven't for several years. We are able to talk through most of our problems peaceably even if it means waiting til we've cooled off a bit. (By the way, I don't agree with the statement "Don't go to bed angry" I usually find that, even after a rough night's sleep, things usually look clearer in the morning.) I've learned that the reason I usually got upset was because I felt disconnected, like we were just roommates, living separate lives, only occupying the same living space. I think that's pretty normal for the first year and it does take time to learn how to live together.

2. Say "Thank you" to your spouse, even for the things that are "their job"
I don't remember where I heard this, but it has stuck with me. Everyone likes to be appreciated, right? I am so encouraged when Luke says thank you for the things I do routinely, from laundry to taking care of our son. So, a few years ago, when things started to get a bit difficult financially for us, and Luke was beginning to get discouraged, I tried to make sure to say thank you to Luke at least once a day. It's a simple concept, but I found that I hadn't been appreciating my husband in a way he could see it. Some times I wouldn't see him all day, so I'd leave a note in his lunchbox or on a sticky note where I'd be sure he'd see it. He is always uplifted by those notes and thank you's, it makes our days not quite so heavy. I don't do this as often as I used to, having a child can change your focus a bit, but I do try to say it more than once a week.

3. Pray together
I think this started while we were still dating. I was going to counseling for depression and other issues, and at times I would have anxiety attacks while with Luke. He would pray (sometimes read scripture or sing), not knowing really what else to do, and that usually calmed me down. From there, when we were on the phone at night, we would close our conversation in the evening with prayer. Now, it's the last thing we do in the evening. I look forward to that close time with Luke every night, hearing his heart as he prays over our family and for our future.

4.You, your spouse, and your children are your family. Everyone else is just relatives.
This is something Luke heard from his mom. I remember him telling me, "WE are family, our parents and siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins and nieces and nephews - they are just relatives." I felt such a weight fall from my shoulders. The pressure we put on ourselves and others to make it to every family gathering is sometimes ridiculous. I think there were over 10 Christmas gatherings (family and work related) we had to attend our first year together and I was so stressed out I couldn't enjoy any of it. But since we've taken this on as a sort of motto for how we decide on what family gatherings we can attend, it has really simplified our lives. We love our family, we aren't trying to avoid them, and sometimes we still do too much. But the guilt for not attending an event is reduced. We first think, "Is this going to be healthy for my family?" And sometimes it's not. Other times it is.

I don't think I'm an expert on marriage, these are simply things I've learned and grown in in the last 5 years.

A Lie

Lately I've had this thought running through my mind that has helped me deal with the disappointment of unrealized expectations. I know this month is all about thankfulness and sometimes this thought actually helps me to be thankful. I haven't posted the hundredth post about what I'm thankful for because, lets be honest, most days it's difficult. This thought confronts a lie, a lie that has been plaguing my generation, that feeds our appetite of self-entitlement and laziness which in turn makes us very dissatisfied and ungrateful.

When I look at my life as it is I struggle with being content. People in their late 20s and early 30s should be better off than this, right? We should have a house with a yard, a steady income, two cars, kids, smart phones, vacations, and stuff, stuff, stuff. Right? We should be able to go for a trip to the beach on a whim or go out to eat at a nice restaurant. We should have well established friendships that will continue on as our children grow. It should be smooth sailing, right?

Wrong!

The lie that's been told again and again is this: Find what you're passionate about and dedicate your life to it. If you're passionate enough, you can earn your living off of it.You're an American, you should do what you want, it's all about the pursuit of happiness.

I find this to be the biggest load of hooey. It doesn't work. No one is passionate about cleaning hair out of public shower drains. There are very few people that can pay their bills by doing what they love.

I thought that Luke would be a youth pastor forever. We love students and enjoy encouraging them to grow and mature into adults. But that line of work doesn't pay our bills. Sure, I could find a job so that Luke could be a part-time youth pastor/part-time barista. But then we'd miss out on our own child's life and he's worth more than all that.


I guess what I'm saying is that I've been disillusioned about what this stage of life is supposed to look like. It doesn't mean you're free to dream, it means you have to make the difficult choices and say no to a lot. Houses, kids, cars, vacations, and all the stuff has to wait. The one bedroom apartment, one car, few and far between vacations, and Salvation Army finds is reality and where we're going to be for the foreseeable future.

I am so thankful for our apartment, for my beautiful son, my strong, determined, hard-working, understanding husband, a car that works, and the thrift store finds that have helped us make it. Our life is simple and stressful, but it could be a whole lot worse. I thank God for the blessings He has given us and the grace He showers on me when I'm a self-centered, entitled, whiny brat.