Lately I've had this thought running through my mind that has helped me deal with the disappointment of unrealized expectations. I know this month is all about thankfulness and sometimes this thought actually helps me to be thankful. I haven't posted the hundredth post about what I'm thankful for because, lets be honest, most days it's difficult. This thought confronts a lie, a lie that has been plaguing my generation, that feeds our appetite of self-entitlement and laziness which in turn makes us very dissatisfied and ungrateful.
When I look at my life as it is I struggle with being content. People in their late 20s and early 30s should be better off than this, right? We should have a house with a yard, a steady income, two cars, kids, smart phones, vacations, and stuff, stuff, stuff. Right? We should be able to go for a trip to the beach on a whim or go out to eat at a nice restaurant. We should have well established friendships that will continue on as our children grow. It should be smooth sailing, right?
Wrong!
The lie that's been told again and again is this: Find what you're passionate about and dedicate your life to it. If you're passionate enough, you can earn your living off of it.You're an American, you should do what you want, it's all about the pursuit of happiness.
I find this to be the biggest load of hooey. It doesn't work. No one is passionate about cleaning hair out of public shower drains. There are very few people that can pay their bills by doing what they love.
I thought that Luke would be a youth pastor forever. We love students and enjoy encouraging them to grow and mature into adults. But that line of work doesn't pay our bills. Sure, I could find a job so that Luke could be a part-time youth pastor/part-time barista. But then we'd miss out on our own child's life and he's worth more than all that.
I guess what I'm saying is that I've been disillusioned about what this stage of life is supposed to look like. It doesn't mean you're free to dream, it means you have to make the difficult choices and say no to a lot. Houses, kids, cars, vacations, and all the stuff has to wait. The one bedroom apartment, one car, few and far between vacations, and Salvation Army finds is reality and where we're going to be for the foreseeable future.
I am so thankful for our apartment, for my beautiful son, my strong, determined, hard-working, understanding husband, a car that works, and the thrift store finds that have helped us make it. Our life is simple and stressful, but it could be a whole lot worse. I thank God for the blessings He has given us and the grace He showers on me when I'm a self-centered, entitled, whiny brat.
